Socializing with the correct group

As we are gliding around in this society there are times, we are pressure or coax into doing things that we do not like. During school, I remember boys would visit the gents in groups. They will say “Jom, lets go to the Loo”. I am not sure how and where they learn that all humans have the same bladder size. Or they prefer to rough it out together at the urinary bowl with shoulders rubbing each other and their legs spread apart aiming at a hole. Wouldn’t it be fun if we count to three and wee wee at the same time and check who last the longest?

As we graduate from our schools or university we are being tossed into adulthood and independence but we still tend to stick to certain group of colleagues. I guess it could be the animal instincts in us that prompt us to do it. It could be that we feel safer in groups or it could be the way most company are structured. That is you will normally follow a senior to learn the “trade” but you tend to stick to a more junior group of colleague. No one in their sound mind would like to join the senior group in the first few months, as they are earn and spend more and they are the one who “torture and grill you” every moment you are in the office hence you will prefer to join a group who would curse and gossip about them during lunch time over a plate of mee goreng.

I guess to be able to stand in this society you will need to be linked to certain groups. This is what I called “exposure”. If you join the wrong group you might get less increment, bonuses and slower rise in the career ladder. For example if you worked in a big company whereby there are more than 1 thousand staff, hence the group that you go out with during lunch and happy hour is very important. It is the same as product placement in a movie. You will need to “broadcast” your talent to a certain group of staff who is close to “that person” who has the authority to decide the additional $$$. Why? If not how? Do you think big company have a good appraisal system? Just imagine by the time the news of your achievement reach the correct person it has turned to be another person achievement.

This applies to the circle of friends that you hang out with, be it ex colleague, ex school mates, neighbours or etc. Someone once told me this, it does not matter if you are smart or not but as long as you know someone who is and who has “make it”, things will go your way. If you know someone who knows someone who is in “High Places” you might get richer faster that most of us who only know someone who only know someone in “Low Places”. Do you know why I am still blogging here and sitting in a below 200K apartment instead of sitting in a bungalow watching some adults beating a white ball in a golf course and sipping bird nest? Yeap, I belong to the later group, the group who buy CD in Pasar Malam, who eat breakfast in KopiTiam and who wear pagoda singlet to sleep….the group that are stuck in the middle.