Saturday, February 12, 2005

Alien Body

Yesterday I came back from Thailand using Air Asia. When I was sitting on the plane before it take off, I felt that I could not breathe properly, I glance at the stewardess who has her hair tied up nicely with her short red skirt, black shining pantyhose and her red gloss lips helplessly. I almost told her that I need to go to the hospital as I am having problem with breathing. I felt like somebody is squeezing the air out of me. I am not sure what happen, I have been feeling breathless quite often recently. My memory is going from bad to worst; it might be due to these recurrent breathless episodes that cause the brain to lack of oxygen.

At first I thought it might be due to the surgery but yesterday was quite bad. I did not do anything or exercise except I was reading the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. Maybe I was too excited; the book was quite a thriller and full of surprises. The first thing that flashes through my mind is that if I die this way, it’s much better than with pain. Dying breathless like in a heart attack is a temporary surge of pain as compare with dying with continuous pain until you need morphine as pain killer will be one of the worst scenarios of cancer. Well most likely I will go for an early checkup.

After I was diagnose with cancer and after the operation I often felt that my body is taken over by some aliens. It no longer follow my instructions, it has its own agenda. I felt almost like the owner now is someone else. Actually I think my cancer could have started since I am 30 years old, I have once told my friend that is the time I felt that my body is no longer young. I used to be quite a workaholic and my memory is quite good. My memory is good until that I could remember how many piece of 50, 10, 5 dollar notes and etc. in my wallet at any time. I could flip through few screens of codes and still remember the computer codes that I have saw in the first screens. That was past tense after 30, I feel tired easily, difficulty to sleep and difficult to breathe before I sleep. I am not expecting my body to be 100 percent after all the stress and the misguided cells building up in my kidney but I hope one day it will once again follow my instructions and needs.

4 comments:

leecs said...

hi, do some exercise. like walking around the office, walking up the office (not up to 13th floor) but few floors every day does help.

Marvin Heng said...

Soo,
Sorry to hear about your condition. It's true that most of the time, all of us take things like health for granted until one day, when things went wrong, then only then one starts taking care of it... human nature...

Anyway, look at the bright side and start living positively. Put a balance between work, family and oneself. While attending to work and family matters (and friends), one must also have some time alone for any reasons, be it spiritual healing, relaxing, or just having a quiet time.

You will find yourself more energetic and more focus after a period of selfness.

Take care.

cheesum said...

Harllooo...
Don't be so sensitive...
You will scare me as i almost reach 30...
Take it easy... Don't think too much as sometime you think you are sick then you will sick. But is good to have check up then the result will tell you the truth...

SooHK said...

Thanks everyone for the comments and concern. Wish you guys a Happy CNY and of course the coming valentines day.

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