For a week plus I have been having fever, sore throat, running nose, dry eyes, gassy feelings and of course the now permanent “Illness in my body” the burning sensation on my right. The fever seems to be in a marathon, it’s not the type of fever that could fry an egg but it’s those that it’s enough to make you feel weak and fatigue. It is around the region of 37.3 to 37.5, and it’s on and off. It normally occurs in the afternoon and evenings.
What alarms a lot of my concern relatives (my cousin) is when I complain of having brownish phlegm in the morning, which possibly could be blood. After a night of “deep and unproductive” brain cells burning activities and some frantic phone calls from my cousin, I decided to go and visit my family doctor (last Wednesday). As this is the first time that after my kidney was removed that I felt sick, although there are occasional fever (which disappear after a day) and the early morning sneeze during this 6 months but this time is different as I felt tired. I do not feel like running to my primary cancer care (my urologist in this case) every time I feel sick as even a normal healthy person will have its “off” day.
So after spending the morning in the office, I drag my small butts to my family doctor which is near my house. The place looks a bit different after the last time I saw him, it was last August when I went and ask him for recommendation and referrer to specialist for my then possible Kidney Cancer. The normal brightly lit aquarium that fill with healthy fish on the right hand corner of the reception now only consists of one unhealthy belly facing the sky fish which still manage to occasionally swim around.
I was prescribed with cold & cough pill, cough syrup, panadol and water to gargle for my sore throat. The advice he gives me is to just follow up with my normal 3 monthly check up which was due already. Actually I have been having this type of recurrent marathon fever since when I am 19 years old. The first episode lasted almost a month plus, my weight drop for more than 20 pounds but the fever was in the range of above 38c.
My mother took me to a dozen of doctors with no result. My foot was swollen with all the antibiotics, panadols and the colorful pills that was force down my throat but the fever still remains in the high range. Of course there is the usual Chinese way of curing fever such as this. My mother friends actually uses flour and mix it up with something (I cannot remember) to become a dough. According to the belief if the dough was rubbed in my chest area and if there is hair stuck to it, it means I was suspected of having some kind of sickness. The more hair the better I will become but unfortunately nothing was stuck to the dough.
I am not sure how I was cured but I do remember that my mother told me that if I am still having fever I will be send to the hospital. On that night itself and after the pill popping session, I was drifting in and out of sleep when I heard some weird sounds. The sounds grew nearer and nearer until it becomes clear to me that it is actually the sound of chain being dragged across the floor. It suddenly stopped when the sound was as though it was just a foot away. The next day my fever subsided below the 38 c range and gradually my temperature becomes normal. Until this very day I am not sure if I am dreaming or is it the Bull and the horse “headed men” was at my bedside. As normally Chinese beliefs when someone is dying the bull and the horse “headed” men will actually chain the soul and takes them to hell.
If I could I would stop time and together we breathe in some fresh air and erase whatever that is bothering us in this little space of mine, whereby my life story is told, my thoughts pour out and ideas brew.
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